Bilbel Capital

Something is either:

– Impossible, because it violates the laws of physics, or

– Inevitable, once the right knowledge is created.

Dan had been struggling with the meaning of life. After years living with the question unanswered, he had enough. 

He was sick of the same advice he was hearing over and over again. 

One day, he was told that far away in a hut, was living one of the wisest people to ever cross this earth.

In the beginning he was hesitant. But as time passed, Dan became more desperate.

When the pain of staying where he was, was greater than the pain of going to meet him, Dan went to meet him.

Dialogue

M-Master, D– Dan

D: Hey Man, I’m really sorry to interrupt your day, and I know this question is kinda strange, but I’m confused. 

What is the meaning of life?

M: Are you ready for my answer? Because it doesn’t seem like it.

D: Why not?

(The Man did not answer, and Dan left, angry. 

After a sleepless night, he went again the next day)

D: I’m sorry for yesterday, and I think I know what you meant when you said I wasn’t ready.

M: …

D: I was desperate for an answer, without seeing the blind spots in the question. 

M: The intelligence within you is impressive, young man.

The human being indeed has the capacity to understand, but the mind stands in the way.

My dear, you come to ask me for the meaning of life.

First of all, your question “what is the meaning of life”, implies that life has a meaning.

If you had found meaning, you wouldn’t be asking this question.

So you haven’t found meaning, and are assuming that there is.

D: …..That’s… right.

M: Now, truth be told, you didn’t really come to ask this question.

I can see it in your eyes. I can read it within your body.

This is not the real question you are asking.

(Silence)

What you are really asking, is somewhere along these lines:

“I feel useless, I feel confused. I work so hard but feel like I get nothing in return. Everyday, I feel much more suffering than I do joy.

What is the meaning of all of this?”

Dan, the question matters not.

It is the source of the question that matters.

D: …You nailed it.

I’m struggling with life.

M: Dan, was this struggle created by life, or by you?

D: …I…I…I really don’t know.

M:  You are honest.

Dan, all problems come from thought. 

The mind is a limited resource. It’s a reactor. 

A machine that receives inputs, and produces outputs based on those inputs. 

The output is restricted by the input. And the input is restricted by the environment it’s exposed to.

If all that your mind is exposed to is lies, how is it possible to have a life without problems?

Dan…

The greatest intelligence.. The place in which problems do not exist.. Lies not in your mind, but somewhere else.

D: Where does it lie?

It doesn’t matter where it lies, Dan. 

What matters, is if you truly understand all that’s coming from your mind. And as a result, understanding all that is not.

Once you do, you will be able to understand what’s coming from a limited source, and what’s coming from an unlimited source.

That which comes from a place of interference, and that which comes from a place of no interference.

That which comes from a place of knowledge, and that which comes from a place of truth.

Only through a place which is out of the mind is it possible to understand the mind. 

D: (Silence)

M: Dan, Life has no meaning.

That question comes from a reaction of the mind.

What humans really seek, is not happiness, but freedom. 

Freedom from happiness.

Above all, freedom from the mind.

Once freedom is found, your question will have no significance.

For the source of the question would have disappeared.

Intelligence can only be measured by the discrepancy between what is seen and what is there.

The lower the discrepancy, the greater the intelligence.

(By ‘seen’, I mean sight of understanding)

B: I have a philosophical question for you young man.
If self is just an illusion then it stands to reason that making money, loving others, and loving yourself is all pointless. Is that correct?

Hey B, thank you for reaching out.
On my journey, I had the same questions you’re asking me.

What I will say before answering them, is that one must see things as innocently as possible.

The default state of the mind is to pursue philosophy with logic. To react with questions without understanding the assumptions behind them.

…

“Making money, loving others and loving yourself is all pointless, is that correct?”

No. Not really.

The totality of the statement is correct. But it’s implications are not.
Life itself has no point. But the assumption in the question is: “hey, if all of these things are pointless, why the heck would I do them, then?”

There is no need for “a point” to pursue something. The pursuit is whole in itself.
Making money provides a very useful freedom when used right. And it can be a fun game.

In my experience, it is only after I realised no self, that I could truly experience love.
I know that I can’t get hurt when loving.

…

After realising no self, loving yourself becomes pointless. You’d rather live without the illusion than with it.

And the good feeling you have when loving yourself, pales in comparison to the freedom you have of not being attached to it.

B: Life itself is fleeting. How does one choose between hedonism vs being a monk? If we abstain from pleasures completely are we no different than a rock? If we indulge in them completely are we no different than an animal?

There is no need for a choice. I only want to understand things the way they are. Abstaining from pleasures does not increase my chances of understanding them. Quite the opposite. I can get many insights during fun activities.

B: “If one can get away with lying cheating and stealing then why should they feel bad about it, if it’s just a feeling?”

I know of no peaceful people that have bad morality, even though many of them have no concept of it.

…

Many people think that when one realises no self, he becomes detached and unloving.
What I can say that one cannot experience life, love or freedom at its fullest while living with the illusion of the self.

…

This realisation is the one that removes the obstacles in the way of a human’s true freedom.
It’s a freedom one would not believe. A freedom one would not expect.
But it’s the greatest freedom of all.

B: I appreciate your generosity in taking the time to respond. These are great thoughts and it will take some for me to process and figure out how to apply them.
Society cannot flourish if we do not choose to help each other. Some like Elon Musk understand this, as evidenced by his desire to colonize Mars. But isn’t society just a bigger version of self, a larger illusion?
What is the purpose of helping others? Is it to feel better about yourself? Doesn’t that mean you are doing it for selfish reasons?
Why am I asking this question? Perhaps I am looking for an excuse not to help others? Making me selfish?

Society is a big word, but I don’t think much about it. It is simply “many humans”.
I look to understand my mind and reality at the deepest level. As a consequence, I understand other humans too.
The mind is actually not very different from one person to another. There are of course varying levels of intelligence, but the mind’s reactions to inputs are quite similar. The biggest difference is in the magnitude of the reaction, not in the direction of it.

“What is the purpose of helping others?”
Well, there is no purpose. But that doesn’t imply that you should or should not help others.
If you want to help others, so be it.
There is no judgement. And I truly mean it.

…

Most people help others for “selfish” reasons. Either because they want something in return or because it makes them feel good.

But I can sense that the word “selfish” implies for you that it is a bad thing. And that assumption must also be questioned (innocently).

Now, realising no self is likely to change the reasons why you help others. But it’s unlikely to make you not want to help others.

…

I have no judgement. I just want to understand.
There are many layers of assumptions in one’s mind. And if one is honest in his journey, he will look into all of them until he sees their flaws.

B: Last question.. how does your philosophy differ from Stoicism and Buddhism, where one is encouraged to be content with the present, rather than dwell on the past with anger or sadness or on the future with greed or fear?

Stoicism:
I’m not very familiar with stoicism, but I do know that many people think Stoicism is the act of being stoic. By suppressing your emotions.
And while this can fix the problem from the outside, the root cause has not changed.

I want to understand, not to change my actions. But once I understand, actions change on their own—because the cause has changed.
True stoicism is a consequence of understanding the reality of one’s mind and life. Not by trying to suppress feelings.

Buddhism:
While I cannot verify the stories to be true, Buddha’s story is a very inspiring one.

He wanted to understand life to the greatest depths.
First, he started following the Ascetics (priests).
They told him they had the path to enlightenment.

He meditated, did the rituals, and all that jazz. But none of it brought him closer to getting what he wanted.
Only after many years of no progress, did he realise he was wasting his time.

After that, he left the Ascetics and walked the path alone.

In his deepest desperation, he was ready to give up his life to find the truth.
He sat under a tree, and shortly after, he found Enlightenment (no self).

Now, I’m not a prince, and I didn’t sit under a tree. But I found Enlightenment.

…

Buddhism teaches you to follow the path of Buddha.

But I had no interest in following Buddha. Just like Buddha realised he had no interest in following the Ascetics.

What I really wanted, was to see the greatest of truths.
To see what Buddha saw, not to follow what Buddha said.

In the same way as Buddha, after a certain threshold of desperation came to me, it was not long after I saw it.

B: I appreciate you taking the time to share your wisdom. It is worth more than money.
I will re-read this conversation over many times to absorb, digest, and hopefully apply some of these thoughts.

Thank you.

“What method do you use to reinforce the notion of no self? By actively thinking about the concept? Or by trying to remove emotional thoughts as they happen? While going through your day or while meditating?”

By thinking of no self as a concept, I was able to see its image. But not its depth. And the realisation requires its depth.

Its maximum depth.

I used to spend a lot of time trying to think my way through it. But it only went circular. And no matter how much time passed, I remained in the same place.

After the realisation, you practically always have the understanding with you. But you might lose some of its grip, depending on your awareness moment to moment.

For example, if you spend a lot of time thinking at work, then the illusion of the self might go unnoticed after you’re done from work. Because you were constantly in the domain of thought. But the moment it becomes important to you, you can see through it.

If seeing through the self doesn’t come through thought, when where does it come from?

Imagine a muscle you learn to flex. There is no thought involved in learning to flex the muscle. Once you learn to flex it once, you always know how (Even though sometimes it can feel less “in tune”).

If someone had to ask how you flexed the muscle, the answer is you don’t know ‘how’.

There indeed might be a ‘how’. But the person that got there, didn’t use the how, or didn’t need it.

The problem with the question “how”, is that it’s implied that the answer can be followed using thought. Or is measurable from an outside observer.

And that assumption must be questioned.

Meditating: You can use meditation if you like, but it’s not required.

What is required is maximum desire, and maximum innocence. But yes, you can create an environment that increases your sensitivity/awareness. Like meditation, music, walking, dancing, etc…

Deep realisations are one of the few domains that require no thought. And no effort. There is no trying, or forcing. There is only awareness.

What was your experience of the mind during your journey? How did it evolve?

When I started reading and listening to philosophers/seekers of truth, I went all in on finding ‘how to do’ the things they were saying.

That took a few months, and of course, got no results.

Then, slowly, there was awareness of other people’s behaviour. That created thoughts that made me resentful towards them.

It became more and more painful to be around people that lacked the awareness and innocence I was looking for. Shortly after I’d leave the painful interaction, I’d feel my awareness skyrocket.

Then, I started realising that I myself lacked this awareness I was observing in other people.

My awareness started catching my lack of awareness more often, and more deeply.

Many normal moments became moments of awareness. And many moments of suffering became more and more unbearable.

The more desperate I became, the less I turned to books and the more I looked into things on my own and with music.

There was a knowing that deep inside I had all the answers, but I was lacking access to them. And that access was only possible with the deepest innocence.

A while ago, I saw 2 parents, with their kids.

The kids had just entered a park, and their eyes were lit up. They went straight running joyfully and playing around.

The parents reacted differently. It’s hard to explain.

They didn’t seem joyful. Rather, they looked irritated. They looked resentful.

After a few moments, they started shouting to the kids, telling them to stop running around and be more ‘mature’.

I stopped to think…

It feels like the kids are at home, and the parent is their prisoner.

We like the idea of knowledge. We are are attracted to ideas and concepts. Opinions and beliefs. 

They are part of our identity.

But, what do these things really give us?

If for once, we just stopped to see…

Really. For once. Just look with innocent eyes.

Who is wiser? 

The one who is conditioned? Or the one who is free?

The one who knows nothing, or the one who knows things that are not true?

The one who believes life is suffering, or the one who has no concept of it?

If there is someone to learn from, who should it be? 

The one who searches for answers? 

Or the one who has no need for them? 

What are more inspiring?

Innocent eyes? Or hopeless ones?

Do you see what I see?

Children already have freedom.

Does the child need to learn from the adult, all of this knowledge?

Or does the adult need to learn from the child, all of this freedom?

…

Dear reader,

Perhaps the adult shouts at the child because they resent seeing freedom in the child’s eyes.

…

The freedom they see in the child, creates too much pain within them. Because they may know somewhere deep inside,

That the child arrived, 

And they haven’t.

One’s suffering can actually stop immediately.

Few believe this is true.

Even fewer Know it’s true.

It is reserved for that rare person, who’s desperation is so deep, so immediate, that he is left with no choice.

It is indeed possible. But it requires a person with nothing left to lose.

One willing to give up everything for the immediate truth.

Not because he was told to do so. 

Not because he read it in a book. 

But because he has no choice.

It is not found through logic, it is uncovered through desperation.

The only barrier is the realisation that there is no self. 

But that realisation is only permanent if he has seen it clearly enough such that he cannot unsee it.

Once he cannot unsee it, he has changed forever.

Son: Father, please, explain what enlightenment is.
Father: Come with me for a walk.

Father: Son, do you see that tree?
Son: Yes
Father: I see it too
Father: Do you see that grasshopper?
Son: Yes
Son: What are you trying to show me here?

Father: Son, it’s not that I see things differently. It’s that the understanding of what is seen is different.

Son: I have to tell you something. Last time we were in traffic, the person behind us was yelling at us, and you didn’t react. How didn’t you get angry?

Father: If he was yelling, his mind was in a state of anger.
The reason anger arises, is because the sense of the self feels attacked.
Son, if we were to really look at it. What is being attacked?

Perhaps deep inside we know it is an illusion, and in order to live with it, we must constantly give it fuel.

Son: Do you feel pain?
Father: I feel physical pain, but that pain doesn’t cause me suffer mentally.

Son: Do you hate anyone?
Father: Son, you cannot both hate and understand a person.

Son: Do you feel emotions?
Father: There is some variance from moment to moment, in terms of feeling. But emotions, not really. Things like Hope, Anger, Pride, Resentment, Happiness, Disappointment.

These things don’t really arise anymore.

All these emotions have the same properties, because they depend on one another. And since they depend on one another, then they don’t in fact exist.
Emotions reveal a lack of understanding. It arises because reality is not seen for what it is.

Son: But then again, you are the most loving person I know.. You don’t seem to be “emotionless”. How does this make sense?

Father: There is only division, where the mind is present.
Where there is no mind, there is unity.
This is a place of stillness.
A place of love.
Above all, a place of truth.
For what is love if it is separate from truth? And what is truth if it is separate from love?

Son: Do you have thoughts?
Father: Yes
Son: Do you ever have bad thoughts?
Father: Yes, but ‘bad’ thoughts do not make me feel sad, and ‘good’ thoughts do not make me feel good.

I realised, that most of what the mind speaks, is ineffective. Especially when the mind thinks about ‘you’.

Don’t get me wrong. For things that need logic and reasoning, the mind is useful.
But for things in life that relate to being peaceful and discovering reality at the deepest levels, thinking has no value.

Son: Do you consider yourself wise?
Father: There was a time when I thought I was. Today such labels don’t cross my mind.
Son: How do your thoughts sound?
Father: The mind sounds the same before or after enlightenment. It’s the understanding of it’s significance that’s different.

Son, the difference is in the understanding, not in the experience.

Son: Do you fear death?
Father: It is only once I understood life, that the fear of death disappeared.

Son: There is so much to understand.
Father: Well, actually, there is 1 fundamental understanding, from which all others blossom.
Son: Which one is that?

Father: Enlightenment, is the realisation that there is no self.
Son, If you look inside yourself, what do you see?

Son: (Silence)

Father: There is a body, there is a mind, and there is awareness. Or an experience of these as a whole unit.

But nowhere can I point to something, and say: “this is who I am”.

If you look innocently, you may realise that there is no person behind the awareness. There is only the awareness itself.

There isn’t an “experiencer”, there is only the experience.

Son: How does it feel like? Is Enlightenment amazing?

Father: Son, most people think that enlightenment is something other than what they experience on a day to day basis.

Enlightenment is just normal life, without the illusion of the self.
It is a normal life, just without conflict.

Son: How will I come to see what you have seen?

Father: One must have a desire to understand things the way they are, rather than the way they want it to be. But this desire is not something that can be manufactured. It must be natural.

And son, it’s not that you should. It’s totally okay.
If you do, you do. If you don’t, you don’t.

Son: Will I ever come to such wisdom?
Father: If the desire is great enough, it will be found.

If you know what you want, what’s the quickest way to get it? 

Reading a book on how to do it, or doing it?

Son, I have wronged you.

Wronged you in ways you may not come to see.

This came from ignorance, rather than malice.

But truth be told… Results don’t care about my intentions.

I used my sense of ego. I have shown you a path of illusion. A path of ignorance. A path of suffering.

Having so many hopes for you. Not so that you may live a better life. But for the image of you in my mind to suit my desires.

I have failed to understand that I am not my mind, not my emotions, and not my thoughts. 

Even more so, I am not my self, for the self is no more than a creation of thought.

Such is the mind, son.

Such is the mind.

However,

There is a fire within you.

A Spirit of Unmatchable Strength.

A Spirit…

Of Unimaginable Intelligence.

It is there. Waiting to be accessed.

Above all,

A Spirit,

Of Unburdened Freedom.

What lies between you and that Spirit,

Is unlearning all that is not.

For what is, is already there.

And what’s already there,

is all you’ll ever need.

I’ll tell you a story of mine.

I am on a journey to becoming wealthy.

I watch/listen/read about people who have arrived there.

After 1 week, my mind saw much clearer paths towards getting wealth.

I started finding ways I previously didn’t even know were possible.

One day, I met a group of people for an hour, who have limiting beliefs and a lack of understanding of how wealth is created and transferred.

After spending time with them, my mind absorbed their beliefs and opinions they had (without me being aware of it), and after I came home on my own,  doubts started to creep up.

“Does it really make sense, or is this unreasonable?”

“It isn’t realistic”

“Who am I to think I can make it to the top 1 percent?”

…

That’s just 1 hour of exposure.

Imagine your whole life…

Environment and exposure to it have huge influence on what limits are placed on your mind.

The truth is: It’s not the exposure that is influencing you, but the mind internalising it. As a result of a lack of awareness of this happening real time.

If I had been fully aware of what was happening, I wouldn’t have been affected.

But I wasn’t. 

The mind is a reactor, responding to the inputs it receives.

Consistent exposure to anything will gradually lead you to internalise it in your mind, making it your new standard. 

The level of harm or benefit depends on the type of environment, and the level of awareness you have whilst being exposed to it.

The whole world lives in solutions. 

It seems reasonable, right? 

We have a problem. We find a way to solve it. And it gets solved. 

Or is it?

If we had to, for once, clearly see the reality of problems and solutions, we would realise that they are very much the same thing.

Looking for solutions is an avoidance of the problem. Much more than it is a desire to solve it.

What really solves the problem, is going deep into what the problem really is.

Once enough depth is reached, the problem vanishes, or the solution reveals itself.

Q: Do you think intellectual understanding can be useful?

A: No.

Q: Why not?

A: There is no such thing as intellectual understanding.

There is intellectual thinking, and there is understanding.

As long as something is thought about, it cannot be seen directly.

I sit here, in my death bed,

Looking back at life.

Oh life. Oh life.

This is it son.

This is all of it.

I am at the end.

The very end.

Son. I now realise. That there were only few moments in which I truly lived.

It’s incredible how few.

Moments. Very few moments indeed.

Oh son does it now feel more true than ever.

Chasing, Chasing, and Chasing.

What was my life without chasing?

It’s not money or status we chase,

it’s running away from the pain we have from a desire created in our mind.

The mind in control my whole life.

Son, tears are coming down my eyes.

Not because of sadness, but because of understanding.

Son,

We’re going to die.

We are going to die.

We

Are 

Going

To

Die.

And this, son.

This.

Is why we are free….

This is why…

(Taking his last breath)
YOU’RE free.

To live in the moment…

Deep in your heart, the moment must mean more to you, than the thought that distracts you from it.

The most valuable currency for a human is not wealth, success, relationships or even TIME or HEALTH.

Yes, you may want to read that first sentence again.

The most valuable currency one has during his life is how one feels.

The proof?

Would you be wealthy and successful if success were guaranteed to bring you intense suffering every moment of every day, forever?  

(Just to get it out of the way.. Humans tend to think that wealth brings suffering, which is not true. This example is just to show the value of each variable)

Would you choose to have unlimited time, if you were guaranteed that all that time is filled with agony, or would you prefer if you had limited time left, and be the most blissful person on the planet?

(Under the illusion of hope, one may still attempt to choose the first option. Because he hopes that tomorrow will be better than today)

Would you enter relationships if you knew that you would suffer at every single moment you are with that person?

Would you want to be healthy, if health brought nothing but pain?

If any increment in wealth, success, relationships, time, health, or anything one sees valuable.. Were guaranteed to bring also a permanent increment in suffering…

No human on the planet would choose to have them.

Humans don’t want success. They want the good feeling that comes from success. 

Humans don’t want relationships. They want the good feeling that comes from having relationships.

Humans don’t want health. They want the good feeling that comes from being healthy.

Humans don’t want time. They want more space to fill with good feelings. So they leave with 2 buckets of good feeling. Rather than 1. 

(Little do they know, that nearly all of them also leave with more than 2 buckets of suffering)

If there is such a thing as love, it cannot live outside of truth.

Unless one really wants to understand how life works,

To understand one’s mind.

To see reality…

Yesterday was not different from today, and today will not be different from tomorrow.